Aliens


September 27th

The UFO phenomenon has become international news recently ,San Marino looks likely to become the United Nations for Interplanetary discourse and even NASA has joined in the research .

But here in Scotland we ask ,where is the mystery and why a’ the fuss ?

Background

The subject of “unidentified aerial phenomena” or “UAP,” more commonly known as UFOs, has surprisingly become a topic of serious discussion in the United States. 

The Pentagon and Congressional leadership have both taken formal steps not only to acknowledge that encounters with unknown aerial objects are real but that these events deserve legitimate scrutiny by America’s vast national security apparatus. 

NASA and Harvard University have likewise joined in the fray. Two different prestigious defense and aerospace associations hosted discussions about UAP during their annual conferences recently. 

Now, an international consortium wants to try and take the discussion even further by making UAP a topic of global discourse. 

Dubbed “Project Titan,” if all goes according to plan, the European enclave of San Marino could become the “Geneva” of UFOs and host nation for a United Nations-backed World Conference dedicated to the study of unidentified aerial phenomena. 


Interest in anomalous aircraft seems to have escalated recently throughout less developed parts of the globe but here in Scotland there is no mystery .

Scotland as a whole sees more recreational alien visitors on a daily basis than any other part of the world and has done since the Time of Legend when dragons roamed the hillsides and sheep were bald ,who knows why . Well we dae know why a’ the sheep wir hairless ,the fuckin dragons torched ther wee woolly coats aff ther wee woolly backs wae ther fiery breath .

Ther is nae mystery ther and one of the reasons Scottish sheepherders of auld started shearing ther sheep , tae prevent combustion by dragon breath ,this resulted in these crofters huvin an over abundance of non scorched wool that they hud nae idea whit tae dae wae ,thus transforming Scotland intae the wool exporting capital of the medieval world

Aye , I digress , tae the point , in ma journal today I will try tae answer the unanswered intergalactic cosmic conundrums presently not being asked throughout Scotland .

What are the most pressing and commonly asked questions by extraterrestrials on their arrival in Scotland ?

The first and most commonly asked question is straight forward and easily answered

Obviously the answer tae the mysterious Auchtermuchty question is and always will be
“Wear The Fox Hat ? “


The Cumbernauld shopping centre anomaly oan the other hand ,still remains a perplexing mystery tae this very day.
Ancient Pictish petroglyphs ,which date fae roon aboot the right time ,give or take a millenium ,depict scenes of extra-terrestrials descending tae earth *hunners of years ago oan ther flaming Axminster carpets ,way back in the 1960’s , whereupon wae oot even disembarking , proceeded tae construct the whole Cumbernauld shopping centre in wan night, fae a roll off sticky backed plastic and an empty squeezy bottle .

*(Hunners in the language of the Scots means any number from three to infinity )

This magnificent structure is now considered to be one of the 7 ancient wonders of the Lanarkshire Galactic Fediverse

It is thought the reason for this race of linoleum clad interplanetary travellers annual return to their sacred Cumbernauld sight, is tae purchase frozen chips and other processed high fat freezer items as there are nae cauld food storage shops on ther ain planet which orbits Alpha Centauri B ,simply because it is hot as fuck ,
So no cunt even owns a deep fat fryer mair commonly known in Scotland as a chip pan , oot that way ,not jist cause deep fryers are totally fuckin pointless items oan a boiling inferno of a planet ,but actually because chip pans of any description were banned by the Galactic Federation of Safety Standards totally *millions of years ago for being melting hazards , well known for causing nuclear fusion reactions in residential high rise tower blocks .

*Obviously even in the language of the Scots ,millions numerically speaking is a much bigger nummer than hunners ,some might even go as far as tae describe Scottish millions as wan googolplex or 10 googol .
In factuality though the numerical term ‘millions’ is traditionally expressed in Scottish mathematics ,by ignoring any proven unknown variables ,in a formula mair in keepin wae the internationally renowned Scottish theoretical ventriloquist ,Egbert MacEinstanes ,relatives theory ,as the equation  M = (10 googol x hunners + millions ) = Fuckinhunners

This mathematical formula is then usually further reduced tae the phrase -√(Am tellin ye) ÷ (there + wis ) × (Fuckinhunners of the cunts) = Millions

Aye , I am away digressin again , but somebody hus tae explain this utter shite , back tae the Cumbernauld Carbuncle known locally as A Sight Fur Sare Eyes

Archaeologists now believe the purpose of the library constructed within the confines of the sacred shopping center wis tae enable galactic travellers tae borrow books fur tae read oan ther long cosmic bus journey hame ,as well as bein a hub fur them tae ask fur directions .

The Great Ziggurats of the Five Sisters

The Great Ziggurats of the Five Sisters oot West Calder way is another hotspot visited regularly by cosmic travellers ,initially thought tae be oil shale bings by archaeologists ,it was not until very recently the true purpose of these structures was made clear tae humanity through an accidental telepathic conversation had by an abducted local poacher wae the crew of an intergalactic spacecraft ,who had coincidentally only pulled over to ask yer man for directions .

Many years later under inebriation ,the local poacher revealed that he had been informed by the aliens while onboard ther Flying Carpet ,that these monumental pyramidal edifices were initially constructed by The Federation of Intergalactic Highways Department as cosmic service stations wae gender neutral toilet facilities , for the simple reason many species of alien huv fuckinhunners of different genders .

This directional conversation has since explained the mystery of why the Falkirk Triangle is so popular with the Interplanetary travellers .The whole place is in fact ,A Cosmic Toilet.


Ther you go , Interplanetary travel and anomalous aircraft throughout Scotland explained ,we will just gee oor interdimensional visitors a miss in this diary entry and cover them at a later date , anyway I huv already covered the subject of ginormous interdimensional mice in ma Chewing Gum Theory , a previous exposition which resulted in ma expulsion fae technical college oan publication ,but it’s best no tae talk aboot the sheer fuckin ignorance of the scientific community in public ,jist in case they disagree wae yer demented convolutions ,then go signing a section order and you find yersell banged up in the looney bin. So tae summarise :-


In Conclusion

If you dae happen tae observe bright lights in the sky of an evening ,afore yoose a’ go grabbing fur yer mobiles tae enlighten the Polis ,RAF or NASA . Check oot this very informative website which will keep yersells up tae date wae … At what time of the day or night any future space debris will be getting blasted intae planetary orbit and fae which terrestrial launchpad on the globe, a mass combustion event will be taking place .

I hope that you all have a most excellent cosmic day


Links :-

https://thedebrief.org/san-marino-could-become-the-u-n-s-new-geneva-for-ufos/

https://www.spacelaunchschedule.com/



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